true solitude

I could start talking to a tree pretty soon. That is one of many ways to rehearse for a lifetime of solitude I could see, rolled out on a red carpet. I mean, you frown upon the weird guy on the street doing his weird thing. You didn't think it could happen to you, did you?

What it is in a connection? Sometimes strongly forged but at times turns into a house of cards at some point in time; fuzzy at best. The agenda served, money frittered, energy expended. When all else fails we even find it hard to have lunch alone. Arr, all the sentimental creatures on planet earth.

It is and not

There was an overwhelming compulsion to greet the day with an expletive today. Flashing back a couple of days, I'd realised that the fleshes were nonetheless, invariably human. An insidious headache serves to remind me of my vulnerability, and my body responded by felling itself into a long ardous slumber. After two weeks of pounding, I had felt like a used kitchen rag. That being said, I would do it again in a heartbeat.

Perhaps it does not explain the need to hurl a distasteful word at the break of dawn. Maybe I was jaded, maybe I was rushing for time. But in all chaos, there is clarity. It was clear that I wanted, or rather needed, to extract every derivable morsel of truth. It could have been. It was.

The office lady with the wrong heels. The man with a stack of lottery tickets in his hand; the stack aptly named 'hope'. My colleague who aspires to be an Austrian economist; he sports clothes from Spade and is never thankful for the wonderful girl he has. There is no respite from what many have shown. Not one is without forlorn hope or guilty bones. Obscenely futile at times, we still pursue in the seemingly needless. Even after trials and tribulations, we still do harm unto ourselves and others. The looks on our deathbeds, mostly ones of residual guilt.